Girl I'll Never Understand
This is a story of how is it
Lovin' every morning
Good lovin' every night
That is what i gave you
And you were so satisfied
Dinner on the table
There were flowers in the bed
Anything you asked for
Was it all real or just in my head
Think now, of what it should've been
Our love, all it couldn't been
If you were ever wondering...
I'm doing fine, but in my mind
I could never believe, never understand
How you could do this to me
Enough is enough, done all i can
Now you're gonna lose me
Throwing away our yesterdays
Everything we planned
Cause you're a girl, i'll never understand
How you feeling now?
Are you happy now?
I'm just doing fine
Covered you in diamond
Gave you summer in the sun
And at that moment
I had only just began
Got you the designers
From every magazine
Baby if i know then
All this pain inside would never be
Girl, you are a mystery
So glad, that we're history
Guess we were never meant to be
And i'm doing fine, but in my mind
I could never believe, never understand
How you could do this to me
Enough is enough, done all i can
Now you're gonna lose me
Throwing away our yesterdays
Everything we planned
Cause you're a girl, i'll never understand
Are you happy now baby?
That we're history
Yeah, yeah
Think now, of what it should've been
Our love, all it couldn't been
If you were ever wondering...
I'm doing fine, but in my mind
I'm just throwing away our yesterdays
Giving it up on the plans we made
Enough is enough, done all i can
This girl i'll never understand
I could never believe, never understand
How you could do this to me
Enough is enough, done all i can
Now you're gonna lose me
Throwing away our yesterdays
Everything we planned
Cause you're a girl, i'll never understand
Was randomly listening 2 songs...
Then tis song is still as nice as ever...
Well...
I've been mugging 4 d past few days...
Finished maths revision on monday
Finished physics revision n did physics TYS by wednesday
Slack on thursday...only revised 3 topics 4 chemistry
Today? Physics consultation in afternoon...
Den slack throughout... hav yet 2 start revision...
So ya... think i gotta go study now le!!! =P
Block test is drawing nearer n nearer...
Jiayou everyone~!!! =)
dOzed Off ;
8:00 PM
<Saturday, March 10, 2007
March Holiday!!!
When i was in primary or secondary school... i would surely open champagne n call 4 a celebration during tis time...
But now in JC... there's nth 2 celebrate...
Now... March holiday = Study period...
So ya... during tis period of time...
NO playing of com or slacking...
It's gonna be mugging time!!! =X
Ever since i've sorted out my thinking recently...
I am finally back 2 my old self le!
I've finally gotten back d study form i used 2 have...
Previously... i've failed my physics... chem... n maths test terribly...
Now in d most recent tests... i've past these 3 subjects well!
I shall continue wif d momentum tt i'm building now...
Hopefully i can do very well 4 tis upcoming block test...
Hmm... i've completed all my tutorials now le...
So i shall give myself a break over d weekend ba...
I'll start mugging next week! =X
Actually many things r happening now...
Block test... SYF... Sciesta... ... ...
All seem 2 be approaching at d same time...
If not prepared... i may feel damn stress...
In d worst scenario... i may even break down...
But fret not... i've already anticipated all these problems le...
I've learnt 2 juggle all these things at d same time le!
Truth be told... i dun even feel d slightest stress at tis moment in time!
Hahaha... i guess most probably is i well prepared le ba...
Well... 4 those who feels very stress at tis point in time...
I believe it's cos u all dint plan enough...
So ya... it's time 2 work out ur time management le...
If u dunno how 2... den it's d more tt u muz start learning now!!!
It's still not too late though!!! =)
So ya... although there r some other "stuffs" which r constantly troubling me...
I'm feeling much much better now after sorting out my thinking...
I guess sometimes self-reflection n meditation do magic!
Plan...
10-11 March... Relax
12-18 March... Revision 4 block test
19- 21 March... Block test
~~~Time 2 settle those "stuffs"
April... SYF
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
June... Sciesta
Hmm... so far tis is my plan ba...
So ya... tink i will blog again after block test ba...
All d best 2 ur block test too!!!
Mug hard ba~!!!
In a game of chess...
A move made is made...
There's no turning back...
Any attempts 2 reverse the move are forbidden...
Every move is very important...
1 brilliant move is what it takes 2 finish off the game...
Conversely... 1 reckless move is sufficient 2 make u lose the whole game...
Moral of story???
Those who fail to plan, plan 2 fail...
Being well-planned... u are able 2 control the whole game...
Your opponent may be having his/her own strategies...
But he/she may have already fall into your trap unknowingly...
Therefore in a game of chess...
It's either u control your opponent's movement...
Or u get manipulated by your opponent...
It all boils down to one thing...
That is how well-planned u are...
In life... sometimes u may think that u are in total control...
But in actual fact u may be the one being controlled...
Sometimes u think that u understand your opponent very well...
But in actual fact u don't...
U are misled...
Sometimes things are not what it seems to be...
It may appear tt ur opponent checkmates u...
U anticipated the move and attempted 2 defend it...
But actually it's only part of your opponent's strategy 2 finish the game off...
U fell for it...
In a game of chess...
U can always try 2 play n win in the next game...
In reality...
There's no second chance...
Sometimes in life... there's only one chance...
However... making a wrong move doesn't mean losing everything...
We must understand that to err is human...
We do make mistakes...
We lost not because we made mistakes...
We lost only if we think we lost...
Only we are able 2 beat ourselves in this world...
Once a wrong move is taken...
We should plan our next move...
Plan how 2 recover and reduce the damages done to the minimum...
This is the mentality that we should always have...
By acquiring this mentality... we can go far in life...
However... we must not forget that in chess...
There's a limited amount of time allowed for us to make our move...
Therefore... after making a wrong move...
We are only left with a limited amount of time 2 make the next move...
Time is ticking away...
We have to make the best move in the limited time we have...
dOzed Off ;
7:57 PM
<Tuesday, March 06, 2007
18th!!!
In a blink of an eye i turned 18 today le...
Tinking back... i muz say time really flies sia...
When i was...
Born... i was very weak... suffered from irregular heartbeats... had a weak lungs too...
1... i was superrr chubby... all d ppl... n even strangers... simply juz couldn't resist d temptation 2 squeeze my cheeks! Had a cute sister... n juz learnt how 2 walk! =X
2-4... i was somewhere in my dreamland... enjoying childhood...
5... Cried on my 1st day in K1... cos very introvert... too reliant on mum... n not used 2 seeing so many unfamiliar faces...
6... K2... an innocent child studying ABC...
7... P1 in Ai Tong... Cried on 1st day again... cos after school lost my mum... =X... very timid n introvert... dunno even noe how 2 buy food from canteen...
8... P2... Very popular among gals... rmbed got 7 gals liked me! (can't rmb whether they were joking or it was 4 real...)... Anw... i was too innocent 2 noe anything abt BGR at tt time...
9... P3... Less introvert... was quite naughty too... got blacklisted by a few teachers...
10... P4... parted ways wif all my best friends after streaming... got into EM2... Participated in a Cinderella performance n got a trophy! Finally noe how 2 buy food from canteen!
11... P5... Knew quite alot of new friends... life in school was fun... enjoy being in school... had a crush on a gal...
12... P6... Everyday in school was pure fun... d gal i fancy likes me... but i was again too innocent 2 noe wat is love relationship... i only noe i muz study 4 PSLE... in d end got 221 for PSLE...
Somehow broke off contacts wif all my pri sch friends...
13... Sec 1... got into St. Gabriel's Secondary School... dint like d school at 1st... cos too 'ang mo' 4 me... not a single friend there... But gradually grew 2 like d school... especially knowing a bunch of good friends... 2nd runner-up in chinese essay writing...
14... Sec 2... accidentally mixed wif bad company in class... got corrupted n started picking up vulgarities... but managed 2 change 4 d better juz before Streaming... In the end got into d 2nd best class in d whole level...
15... Sec 3... Got enlightened... maths suddenly became very zai... sciences oso doin quite well... Got 2 noe a new bunch of nice ppl too... d class was very united... n ys became my buddy...
16... Sec 4... chiong-ed 4 'O' level... from ranking 100+ in whole level in Sec 1 to top 10 during Sec 4... I was d top 10 in whole level for A/E maths, POA n chinese... Nominated 4 Lee Kuan Yew's Edusave Award... Got 10 for L1R5 during 'O' level...
No girl de friends for 4 years... maybe tts y can study better ba!
17... J1... 1st 3 months went 2 CJ... life was fun... but very different from sec sch life... had a 1 week crush on my OGL... but realised tt ppl there r quite flirt... not suitable 2 study... so went 2 NY after 1st 3 months... got into same class as ys again!!! Know a bunch of new friends... got a new buddy-tc... Joined a cca i can't imagine i would join-dance! But it's really great n fun 2 noe them too!
18... J2... today... i've finally grown up le... looking back... i've become more mature may it be physically or mentally... i realised tt i've accomplished quite alot of things in d past... so ya... i shld start making plans 4 my future le... like d life i want... n d type of job i wanna take...
4 now... my main goal is scoring well 4 'A' levels... tink i shall put relationship aside... most prob consider finding one after entering university ba...
So ya... i'm really really happy today... i tink i will never forget such a memorable day...
6th March 2007
12.05am... teik was d 1st 2 wish me happy bday...
1.37am... gwen wished my happy bday...
7.20am... reached school...
7.25am... kaiying followed by sharon wished me happy bday...
8-9am... realised my chem results r inproving... sth 2 be happy abt...
9-10am... gp vocab test... got 14/20 despite not studying...
10-10.30am... gong wei wif d guys... jackie wished me happy bday...
10.30-11.30am... did well 4 physics quiz... very encouraging 4 upcoming block test...
11.30-12.30pm... ct held in hall... helped fold dance n SS flyers... tio sabo-ed by guys during skit... but it was quite fun...
12.30-2.00pm... mrs tay on mc... so free period... discuss abt dinner n dance as well as class outing @ sentosa after block test... great bonding between d class!
2.00-3.00pm... class celebrated my bday in canteen... sang me a bday song... gave me bday card n a black shirt... love them! Tc smashed cake on my face... tis was d 1st time in my life 2 tio smashed by cake! 'Fun' experience though!
3.00-4.00pm... had lunch wif tc... saw kaiying n xianmin... xianmin wished me happy bday...
4.00-5.00pm... helped gwen n peu tie dance banners... fun ga jiao-ing them... =P
5.00-5.45pm... helped tc fold flyers again... nice gong wei-ing wif d guys...
5.45-7.45pm... dance rehearsal 4 cca bazaar... it's always fun dancing hip-hop together wif d guys... d gals sang me bday song after rehearsal... had 2 make do wif unlighted candle... aloy put on 'make-up' on my face wif cream... although dirty... it's once a yr... so feeling kinda fun too! D guys n kaiying gave me a present- d shirt i fancy!
7.45-9pm... had a B-rank mission... was damn exhausted after d mission... but it was worthwhile in d end... continued rehearsing d dance wif d guys... One word- enjoying!
9-11pm... reached home... family wished me happy bday... sang me a bday song... had cake 4 supper... mum gave me an ang bao... said i've grown up... greater responsibility in d future... hope everything goes smoothly 4 me in d future...
11-12am... recalling wat had happened today... i am really deliriously happy... so here i am blogging... feeling d urge 2 share my happiness wif u all! I muz really say out loud tt... I will never forget this special day- my 18th birthday!!!
dOzed Off ;
10:41 PM
<Sunday, March 04, 2007
I'm back bloggin after 1 week le!!! Yea!!! Anw... i got STM... so forgive me if i miss out anything 4 d past 1 week k???
Saturday.
Met up wif d guys @ amk seoul garden at evening...
Aloy owed us a treat... so he treat us $10 each! =)
But in d end each of us had 2 pay $10+ more... cos weekday more ex... =X
Tio food poisoning a few days back...
But still ga ga 吃个痛快!!! =P
We chiong-ed 4 meats... cos all r meat lovers!!!
I love beefs... so i took a very large scoop of beefs n finished them all!
D rest chiong-ed 4 chicken meats... prawns... n many more!!!
After we felt d food at d brim of our thoats...
Lao da gerald n aloy played SMACK THAT!!!
They took turns 2 put scallops into d soup...
D one who makes d soup spill over d bowl will get smack!
Up next... it's ice-cream time!!!
Each of us were 'appointed' 2 eat many scoops of ice-cream...
In descending order of whoeva has 2 eat d most scoops...
Aloy... me... tc n lao da... gerald... ys...
In d end... in descending order of whoeva ate d most scoops...
Gerald... lao da... ys... aloy... me... tc!!!
WA!!! I was really at my limit le... couldn't eat anymore...
One more scoop of ice-cream is enough 2 make me PUKE le!!! =X
After d meal... all of us slowly walked 2 my hse...
We juz slacked there n watched tv...
D guys were rather captivated by... Polar Express!!!
Tio suan-ed by d guys again when watching tis movie... =.=
Haizzz... i tink tis is a norm le ba...
We played a game @ seoul garden n lao da won...
Result??? We all had 2 get smack by him!!! =X
So ya... no public humiliation... d punishment was held in my room!!!
One after one went 2 receive their death sentence...
When it was my turn...
Executioner: "How hard u want it 2 be?"
Me: " Do as u deem fit!" (sounded steady... but inside shivering! =X)
PAAAAAAAA!!!!!! (reverberation...)
... ... n i felt my ass burning!!!
Woohoo~!!! Pain sia...
Anw... tc was next!!!
He wrestled wif lao da n accidentally injured lao da's nose...
So we dun expect lao da 2 手下留情!!!
So ya... lao da concentrated all his chakra at his hand before giving tc a good smack!!! =P
Sunday.
Ehh??? Wat happened on sunday ar???
How come i dun rmb anything???
Hahaha... paiseh ar... go on 2 monday ba...
Monday.
Dexter's birthday celebration after school.
Tc n hong siang smashed d cake on dexter's face! =P
He went around chasing ppl n tried 2 smashed ppl wif cake as well!
One by one tio d cake...
2 play safe... i stood quite a distance from him...
Juz as i let my guard down... cos i tot he was tired n stopped playin le...
He pointed at me n said... " alvin... U!!!"... n chased after me straightaway!
I was like... wth man...
But no time 2 tink... i juz ran as fast as i can...
In d end i managed 2 shake him off!
HU~~~... heng ar...
Pray hard tt i wont get smashed by cake on my bday next week!!! =X
Tuesday.
Early release today.
Rushed 2 amk kbox immediately wif decent trio! =)
Kickstart wif quite many JJ lin's songs as usual...
Dunno y tc was not in d mood 2 sing... quite unexpected of him...
So ya... me n ys sang quite alot of songs...
I sang until i really lost my voice again... =X
Observed 'something'... tink we'll go there sing again ar??? =P
Wednesday.
Sex education during assembly...
It was quite enriching...
I understood more abt how 2 prevent STI as well as some of d problems faced by young ppl in today's society...
Anw... we were being shown a few videos... which i find it rather hilarious! =P
Bottomline... or shld i say my stand is... NO premarital sex!
SS meeting after tt...
Did an experiment which dint turn out 2 be successful... =(
Dismissed early at 5pm... n went 2 dance after tt...
As usual... we refined our movements 4 d syf dance...
I accidentally twisted my left knee... =(
After tt had 2 rush home...
But had 2 wait so long 4 d bus until wanteng came...
After awhile saw d guys kaiying n huichun standing behind... =.=
They alighted earlier 2 go prata hse... while me n wanteng alighted after 2 bus stops ...
Took bus 159 n went home...
Thursday.
Went 2 library n did some work before d guys went 2 danny's cny celebration...
Reached tanjong pagar mrt station... n aloy led d way...
In d end he was too distracted n we got lost...
Nevertheless we still managed 2 find our way there...
Upon reaching there... i was quite taken aback 2 c tt d building was pretty old...
We walked up 2 d 4th storey n finally saw danny's company...
Before we went in... we peered in n saw many gals! =X
Omg man... all of them wore very nicely... while we juz wore school uniform!
Sooo malu la!!! =X
We really felt very paiseh when stepping into d place...
We realised it's really ALL gals except danny n his assistance la!!!
Danny welcomed us... n we juz made it in time 2 'lao yu sheng'...
After tt... we all were famished...
So we heck care liao... juz took as many food as we can!!! =P
We sat down at a corner 2 eat n chit chat...
We went 4 a few more rounds of food until we were really quite full le...
We were somehow feeling weird...
Maybe there's too many unfamiliar faces n gals were all around us!
Anw... danny introduced some of his gals students from other sec schools 2 us! =X
I guess we'll get 2 noe them in d near future ba... as wat danny has said...
Stayed back awhile n watched some of his works...
After tt he brought us 2 his office n studio...
Finally get 2 大开眼界 le!!!
Saw some of his trophies n achievements...
His office is really quite conducive 2 work...
D ambience is nice too!
Chatted awhile wif him before we went off...
Haizzz... we were 30min late sia...
If not things may be different now... hahaha... =P
Anw... we went 2 serangoon station...
Exchanged many pointers... before i went home... =)
Friday.
Release of 'A' Level results...
NY did very well tis time round!!! Hooray!!!
Congrats Lao da 4 getting 4 A's!!! He's sooo zai la...
Congrats Eric 4 getting 2 A's n 1 B... so close in goin up d stage!
Congrats all those who got 3A's n more de...
For those who dint do tt well... still hope u can get into d course u desire!
Release of Chinese 'A' level result...
I got B...
I can't believe it...
I was too stunned 2 say anything...
Never in my life did i get B 4 my most confident subject-chinese...
Never a time i scored lower den 70 for chinese...
I'm totally lost 4 words...
I simply juz couldn't take it...
When i called my mum n told her my result...
She couldn't believe it... n told me not 2 joke...
I really dunno wat 2 say...
Cos even i oso can't believe it...
It's... ... juz a massive blow 4 me...
Come 2 tink of it... i'm very worried of my other subjects...
I was 99.9% sure of getting A for chinese after doin d paper...
But in d end... ... ... ...
If i can't even get A for my most confident subject...
Wat abt d rest of d subjects???
Haizzz... i've finally felt how tough JC life n standard is le...
Well... no point brooding over tis setback...
I muz pick myself up n STUDY!!!
I muz really start mugging hard le!!!
For my aim now... it's STUDY STUDY n STUDY!!!
D motivation 2 study comes from within myself...
I will work extremely hard from now on le...
I'll mug twice as hard le...
Tis is my challenge 2 myself...
I will go up 2 d stage n receive d cert from mr kwek next yr de...
N i'm confident i can do it de!!!
Dance training after tt...
Not in d mood 2 dance...
Cos tio affected by bad 'A' level result... n was feeling unwell...
Was feeling alright initially...
But midway thru doin barwork...
I suddenly felt my legs were shaky n wobbly...
I tink it's most probably i dint take my medicines today...
So my food poisoning effects start 2 发作 le... =X
Sux sia... i still haven't fully recover from it... =(
Anw... d condition of my left knee aggravated...
I was limping throughout d whole training...
I guess i did well tis time round by not showing it obviously...
Halfway thru... my food poisoning effects became more jailut...
I started 2 feel very giddy...
But nvm... i still perservere...
Mind over body!!!
Managed 2 endure after d training!!! Yea!!! =)
Went wif d guys kaiying n huichun 2 amk mos after training...
We sat at 2 tables... 1 table guys talk... 1 table gals talk...
After a short while... aloy went off 1st 2 settle some stuff...
Den d gals went off cos it was quite late le...
Me tc n gerald gong wei while walking 2 d bus stop...
D guys talk was nice!!! =)
Went home after tt...
Saturday.
Woke up at 1pm today!!!
Wa... i slept for 12 hrs sia...
I tink i was really too tired 4 d past few days le ba...
Cos i only slept 4 an average of 4hrs per day!
Attempted a few tutorial qns n went 2 cut hair in d evening...
After tt went out wif mum n sis 2 causeway point 4 dinner...
Went 2 J8 later...
My sis bought me my birthday present in advanced!!! =)
Went home n slacked throughout...
Watched liverppol vs man utd...
Result??? man utd won 1-0!!!
Yea... aloy n gerald dun feel sad k??? =P
So ya... i muz start 2 gear up 4 d upcoming block test le!!!
Alvin... it's time 2 study!!! Dun slack anymore le!!!
One stone kills 2 birds...
That's wat u generally call a well-plan move...
When a well-plan move is executed...
U would expect a success...
In a battlefield... things are different...
Terms like "well-plan move"..."success" would not be used...
"兵不厌诈"..."victory" would be used instead...
In a battlefield... victory is the most important...
To win... some resort 2 despicable means n hypocrisy while some won by earning others' respect...
Usually...the former would win... but not 4 long...
The subjects would be able 2 differentiate good from evil at the end of the day...
In the end it's still good triumph over evil...
Ultimately the latter will win...
Sometimes... when a war has started...
There are bounded 2 have some casualties...
The sinister leader would bend on gaining victory regardless of the amount of blood shed...
The good leader would would want 2 minimise the amount of bloodshed...
The subjects is able 2 differentiate between the good n sinister leader easliy...
However... sometimes when a war is declared...
Only the 2 leaders n their soldiers are prepared n have put on guard...
The subjects are still innocent n oblivious...
Plannings n strategies are already in the pipeline... ready to be carried out anytime...
The sinister leader would resort 2 any underhand means to win...
Even at the expense of taking away innocent lives...
Or attacking the closed ones of the good leader...
The good leader would not want 2 see a war if there is other way out...
But there is no other alternatives left...
The sinister leader has already made his move...
The closed ones of the good leader are already being targetted...
The good leader can't bear 2 see anyone being landed into the hands of the evil...
He must do something 2 stop this from happening...
To win this war without sacrifices made n lives being taken away...
The good leader has 2 sway the mindset of the subjects of the sinister leader into believing tt their leader is evil...
He has 2 make the subjects turn against the sinister leader n gain their support...
However... he knows it is an uphill task...
Cos the sinister leader has been treating his subjects well...
Under his control... taxes were low n incomes were high...
But never did his subjects realised how ambitious n crafty their leader is...
They continued 2 give him their full support...
It is almost impossible 2 expose how evil their leader is...
Until the day the sinister leader execute his plan...
But when tt day ever comes... it'll be too late...
So the good leader is trying very hard 2 preempt this n stop this from happening...
But will he make it time 2 stop the sinister leader from executing his plan???
Will the subjects come 2 realise it sooner themselves???
Will good ever truimph over evil???
Will light eat away the darkness???
dOzed Off ;
12:24 AM